Hide and Seek
by Goldensnake333
Summary: When Harry, Hermione and Ron get caught playing hide and seek by the Dark Lord, Lucius, Bellatrix and Draco what will happen when they join in? And what will happen when things esculate to truth or dare? Pairings include Draco/Hermione, Harry/Luna and Lucius/Narcissa
1. Chapter 1

**Hello dear readers! This is my first fanfiction, so please go easy on me. Reviews would be much appreciated! The characters will probably be quite OOC and this is also just a starter story, and I'm not sure how far I'll take it. If any of you have anything you would like me to write about, please just leave it in the reviews or PM me. I'll check this through, but I have no beta so I apologise if I get anything wrong. So, anyway, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Nope, nothing owned here.**

"Harry, it's not a good idea. We should just get back to hunting the horcruxes!"

Hermione glared at Harry, who was currently standing in the middle of the street with a stupidly inane grin plastered across his face.

"Come on, 'Mione. There's no way we could lose if we had the element of surprise. It's only _two _death eaters against the boy who lived, the brightest witch of her age and…"

Harry paused, clearly trying hard to come up with an equally heroic name for Ron, who was now also glaring at Harry.

"…I've got it! The boy with the most dumb luck in the world!"

Harry finished, grinning goofily at an even more enraged Ron.

"I was going to side with you on this, git-face, but now I think I'll have to agree with Hermione."

Pouting, Harry turned to Ron and gave him his best puppy-dog eyes.

"Will it change anything if I call you _lord _boy-with-the-most-dumb-luck-in-the-world?"

"Hardly. Who did you say the two death eaters were again, Harry?"

Before Harry had a chance to reply, Hermione barged between them, exasperation written all over her face.

"It doesn't matter _who_. The only thing that matters is that it's getting dark and you want to wait in the middle of a muggle cemetery for two death eaters to show up and hex our asses off, when we _should _be out finding the horcruxes to destroy Voldermort before he destroys us."

"No, Hermione," Harry said, a cheeky smirk on his face, "I want to wait in the middle of a muggle cemetery for two death eaters so we can hex _their_ arses off. It will only take five minutes and then we can go back to hunting horcruxes. And Ron, in answer to your question, just some low ranking nobodies kissing Voldermort's arse."

"So, we won't come face to wand with Bellatrix Lestrange, or Lucius Malfoy, or the old no-nose himself?" Ron asked, his joking attitude failing miserably to conceal the fear in his voice.

"Ron, why would Voldermort or any of his high-ranking soldiers be in the middle of a cemetery at dusk?" chided Hermione, who was getting fairly tired with them.

"So it's settled!" Harry finished, smirking triumphantly at his two friends. "There's no danger, therefore, we do it."

Ron jumped with excitement, his previous irritation completely forgotten. Hermione, however, did not share their eagerness.

"Look, even if we did go and wait for them, we wouldn't know where to look for them. The place isn't exactly _small_"

It was true. The place was perhaps twice the size of Hogwarts. It was full of not only graves, but enormous stone statues and various tombs. Hermione didn't doubt that there was also a catacomb complex spreading underneath the acres of land.

"We could _accio _them once we get inside?" Ron giggled, clearly not taking anything she said seriously.

Harry started laughing along with Ron, and they started bounding towards one of the many gates of the cemetery, leaving an annoyed and slightly bewildered Hermione behind them.

"You coming, 'Mione?" Harry yelled in her general direction. Muttering to herself, Hermione followed them at a brisk pace.

They slowed as they reached the gates, all three taking in the grim atmosphere. Only the last rays of light were peeking above the treeline in the distance, throwing long black shadows over everything. The eerie light made everything contort and grow into unnatural shapes. An uneasy silence lay as thick as fog over the graveyard, and all three got the sense that they were unwelcome.

"Well, this is cheerful," murmured Ron, "Sorry, how did you know about these death eaters again?"

"I had a vision of Voldermort telling them to come here."

"Oh."

"_Harry you idiot!_" shrieked Hermione, "You do realise this could be a trap!"

"Geez, Hermione! No need to deafen me! Anyway, this place is huge, why don't we just hide near the main entrance and if we haven't seen or heard anything for half an hour, we'll leave. Deal?"

Hermione glanced around uneasily. "_Fine_," she snapped at last, "But only half an hour."

Two hours later, they were all sitting against a huge stone monument to a muggle named Geoffrey Collins.

"I'm booooreeed." Ron suddenly exclaimed, startling the other two.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it Ronald?" Hermione snapped back at him.

"Well, it's evident that no death eaters are coming here tonight." Harry grumbled.

"So what should we do now?" Ron asked.

"Well we should probably continue the search." Hermione answered, beginning to get up.

"_No way!_" Harry hissed at her. "There could be two death eaters nearby, and if we get up and start moving about the town, we lose the element of surprise and they could creep up on us instead. Anyway, I'm tired."

Hermione groaned. "Well I'm not going to go to sleep here. We'll just have to wait until morning."

"Well what should we do until then?" Ron moaned at them. Harry suddenly jumped up, an idea evident on his face.

"We could play muggle hide and seek!" he yelled, quite pleased with himself.

"And what about the two death eaters who you don't what to creep up on you, Harry?" Hermione asked with a wry look.

"Oh, they aren't here!" he replied, waving off the possibility of being attacked after they had been waiting for so long.

"That's quite a good idea, Harry!" Ron agreed, standing up, "Come on, Hermione!"

Hermione looked up at their expectant faces and sighed to herself. "Fine! Help me up." She finally conceived.

Her two friends grinned childishly at her as they pulled her up.

"Hmm," Harry mused, "Why don't you cast a no-magic spell over the cemetery, and maybe one that means we can't get out. Sorry, but I don't trust Ron. He might cheat."

Hermione sniggered as Ron turned as red as his hair.

"Alright. How long for?"

"Until sunrise, _unless_ one of us tries to get out. If that happens, make it so it extends to a further twelve hours every time someone tries to get out."

"Harry, no. That's really irresponsible. I'll cast it to last until sunrise, no more."

Harry pouted, but stepped back to allow her to cast the appropriate charms. Whilst she was doing this, Harry went over the rules.

"The seeker must count until one hundred before starting to look for the others, and you can hide wherever you like _except_ the creepy catacombs underneath. Obviously, no magic but you can move around."

"All done with the anti-escape charm." Hermione said. "I'll start on the…"

"Hermione, before you do the anti-magic spell, could you find me something to drink in that bottomless bag of yours?"

Hermione gave Harry a quizzical look. "Um, sure."

As she walked over to her bag, Harry quickly turned to Ron.

"Hey, Ron, I think I might do that extension spell if someone does try to escape!" Harry whispered to his friend excitedly.

"Why?" Ron whispered back.

"To stop you from cheating, of course!" Harry grinned mischievously at Ron, who gave him a black look.

"Fine, but get on with it!"

Harry took his wand out and muttered a quick spell before Hermione got back. It was done before she had even got up.

"Thanks Hermione," Harry grinned at her, "That's just what I needed!"

Hermione gave him a curious look, before shaking her head and turning to do the anti-magic spell. After a few minutes it was done.

"Alright, I'll count first! One, two three…" Harry continued to count up as Hermione and Ron ran off in search of a hiding place.

"…ninety-nine, one hundred! Coming ready or not!" Harry yelled as he hurried further into the cemetery.

Before long he had found Ron hiding behind a large gravestone.

"Found you! I haven't found Hermione yet, so you'll count next time. Speaking of which, did you see which way she went?"

"I think she went this way." Ron said, inclining his head and running off in the same direction. Harry followed, and they soon found Hermione amongst a patch of gravestones.

"Found you, 'Mione!" Harry yelled with glee, "Ron's counting next, let's go back to Geoffrey's grave."

They ran back and soon Ron was leaning against it and counting to one hundred just as Harry had. He found Hermione surprisingly quickly. She had edged out from behind a statue, intent on running behind another, but Ron had jumped on her, making her squeal with fright.

"Ronald Weasley! You scared the living daylights out of me!" She yelled, smacking him lightly over the head. Ron giggled sheepishly.

"Come on, let's go find Harry."

After a very long time, they found Harry in the dirt searching for his glasses, which had evidently fallen off whilst he was running. They gave his glasses back to him, and made their way back to Geoffrey's grave.

"Your turn, 'Mione." Harry giggled, nudging his friend.

"Okay. One, two, three…"

"…ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Co-"

"Coming ready or not." An ice cold voice spoke behind her, making shivers run down her spine. She turned around slowly and was greeted with the smirking face of Voldermort. Behind him were Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Crap." She muttered under her breath.

"Crap indeed, mudblood. Now, where are the other two brats?"

Hermione flinched at the derogatory name, but decided not to tell him anything. If the slimy, scaly serpent-breath wanted Harry and Ron, he would have to search for them himself. She almost appreciated the irony.

"No idea." She stated breezily, already accepting her painful fate.

"_No idea!_ How dare you address the Dark Lord that way, you filthy little mudblood!" Bellatrix screeched at her, "_Crucio!_"

Nothing happened. Hermione remembered with glee and despair the spells on the cemetery. Bellatrix however was not aware and tried again.

"Crucio! Crucio! Crucio-crucio-crucio!"

"Shut up, Bellatrix, you're giving me a headache." Voldermort sneered at the mad woman. She promptly threw herself at his feet, begging for his forgiveness. He rolled his eyes, before spitting his forgiveness at her. She leapt up and resumed her stance behind him.

"Oi! Hermione! The point is you are supposed to come and find us! What are you doing?" Ron yelled at her from behind. He froze when he saw the frightening trio in front of them

"I see your brains are still absent, Weasley. No suprises there." Lucius sneered at the red headed boy.

Ron scowled deeply at the elitist wizard.

"_Enough_" Voldermort bellowed. "Now, why don't you tell me why we are unable to do magic."

"Well, um, you see, ah…"

"That's it. I'm going to fetch the other death eaters." Bellatrix said, moving towards the gate.

"No, stop!" yelled Ron, but it was too late. Bellatrix banged into the invisible barrier. She leapt back, stunned. She then tried again with equal results. She then stormed back to Voldermort.

"Why?" was the only thing she said.

"Ron, tell me you didn't." Hermione muttered.

Ron turned red, and started stuttering sheepishly. "Um, well, 'Mione, Harry might've done something…" he trailed off at the end.

"Oi, where are you two? If I find you kissing, I'm gonna throw up!"

Harry's loud voice carried over the cemetery. Ron turned even more red and Hermione face palmed.

"Seriously, guys where are you? Oh… um… heeeeey Tom."

Voldermort's scowl deepened as Hermione groaned into her hands. Lucius and Bellatrix looked ready to murder them the Muggle way.

"Never address me as Tom again, Potter. Now, _why_ _can't_ _we_ _do_ _magic_?"

Harry waved his hand dismissively. "We were playing hide and seek, and decided to cast a no-magic spell. Also, we can't leave until sunrise."

"No, Harry," Hermione corrected "sunrise, _plus twenty-four hours_"

"Oh. Ron, did you cheat?"

Both Ron and Hermione were now ready to kill Harry, as well as the three death eaters. After a glaring match lasting ten minutes, Bellatrix spoke.

"What are we going to do?" She wailed.

"You could play hide and seek with us?" asked Harry. Hermione stared at him with an incredulous expression.

"Hide and seek?" asked Voldermort.

"Yeah, why not! Come on Tommy, let's play!"

"Did you not learn when I killed your parents, Potter?"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. Just play with us!"

Hermione suddenly grabbed Harry with a fierceness that was unusual for her.

"Are you aware that you just asked the Dark Lord to _play _with us_!_"

"I hate to admit it, but I have to agree with the mudblood." Lucius commented.

"The name's Hermione, Malfoy. _Her-mi-o-nie_" Hermione shot at the blond wizard.

"See, you would never dare say that to him if he could hex you for it! It's the same with old Tommy here." Harry stated.

"You're crazy Harry! And we all know I could hex Malfoy's arse to kingdom come if I had magic. I already broke his son's nose without magic."

"That's it. You just signed your death warrant _mudblood_!" yelled Lucius

"_Enough_!" bellowed Voldermort. "Potter, we shall play your game until we can get out. I would quite like to see what the other disgusting muggle children wouldn't let me join in with."

"Excellent. I'll count" Harry grinned at them.

**Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed and please share your thoughts. I will definitely do another chapter, which shall include Draco, Ginny and maybe some others, I'm still thinking about it. Bye! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi Guys! I've been ill recently so I've been able to get this chapter up really quickly. I can't guarantee that every chapter I post will come this quickly though. Thanks to all who have read this, it really means a lot. So anyways, please please please review, it would be really helpful. I'd love to hear what you guys think. Now, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: Wish I could say I owned this, but I don't. *Sob***

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><p>"Excellent. I'll count!" Harry grinned at them.<p>

"Wait, my Lord, do you really expect us to play this… this… _muggle game_ with our sworn enemies?" Lucius asked, looking for all the world like a lost puppy.

"My Lord, please, do not subject me to this _torture_!" Bellatrix wailed, again throwing herself down at Voldermort's feet.

"Pull yourselves together! You will play the game. Now, begin counting Harry." With that, Voldermort swept away down the rows of graves to find a hiding spot as Harry began to count. Lucius and Bellatrix looked at each other in panic, and then stumbled over each other to follow their Lord.

"Don't go into the catacombs!" Hermione yelled, not really sure what else to say about the bizarre situation. Ron stood beside her, clearly still attempting to make sense of what had just happened.

"…eleven, twelve, thirteen… shouldn't you guys be hiding? Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…" came the muffled voice of Harry from against the stone. Ron and Hermione looked at each other, before running off in separate directions.

Meanwhile, Lucius and Bellatrix had lost Voldermort in the dark, and were currently stumbling around trying to figure out what to do.

"I can't believe we are being subjected to this," Lucius grumbled, "Do you even know how to play this stupid game?"

"What do you think?" Bellatrix snapped back at him, "I don't make a habit of indulging in filthy muggle games."

"Well, the name of it is _Hide _and seek, so maybe we should split up and hide?" Lucius reasoned.

"_Hiding! _I will not be reduced to hiding like some piece of mudblood filth. No wonder this game appeals to them!" Bellatrix grumbled.

"Well I'm going this way. I suggest you go the other." Lucius declared haughtily, before marching off to the right.

"Fine, be like that then." Bellatrix sniffed, before scampering off to the left.

* * *

><p>It was now almost pitch black. Hermione had found an initial hiding place behind a statue, but decided she didn't like it. She was just edging her way to a bigger one when someone ran straight into her.<p>

She fell to the ground, having had all the air knocked out of her. Whoever had run into her had fallen right on top of her, and they weren't exactly light.

"What the hell?" The person exclaimed from on top of her, and she realised it was none other than Lucius.

"_Malfoy!_ Get off me right now before I…"

"Before you what? You can't hex me now, can you?" Lucius muttered rolling off her and briskly standing up, "You should know I don't make a habit of rolling around on the floor with a _mudblood!_"

"You were the one who ran into me! And you're right, I can't hex you, but we won't be in here forever!"

"Is that a threat, mudblood?"

"_Stop calling me that!"_

"No."

"You are the most pretentious, stuck-up, prejudiced, conceited, ostentatious…"

"Look who's name calling now."

"You are simply the most infuriating, arrogant, pig-headed twat _ever_!"

"Careful, mudblood, you'll run out of fancy words."

"You wish, Malfoy."

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" Harry's voice suddenly appeared beside them, making Hermione jump with fright and Lucius scowl in his direction.

"_Harry! _I've already had Ron and Lucius nearly give me a heart attack tonight!

"You wish, mudblood."

"Right. That is it. Lucius Malfoy, you are dead."

"I see we are back to the death threat part of our relationship. How are you going to kill me anyway? Death by big words?"

"Um, guys, I kinda have stuff to do, so can you just tootle back to Geoffrey's grave. Both of you are counting next because I found you at the same time." Harry interrupting, amusement laced throughout his voice.

"How did you even find us, Potter?"

"You weren't exactly being quiet, Malfoy."

"I'm sick of this. I'm going to Geoffrey's grave." Hermione stated in an extremely exasperated voice. She then proceeded to walk towards Geoffrey's grave, clicking on a torch as she went.

"Hey, you can't use magic, mudblood!" Lucius yelled, running after her.

"It's not magic, Malfoy. It's a torch."

"What's a torch?"

"A muggle light."

"How does it work?"

"Batteries"

"Batteries? They sound magical."

"They're not magical."

"How do they work then?"

"Electricity."

"What's that?"

"Muggle power."

"So, like magic?"

"It's not magicial, Malfoy."

Harry smirked as their voices faded into the night. He skipped off in the other direction.

* * *

><p>During all of this, Bellatrix had managed to track down Voldermort. She was clinging onto his arm when Harry came round the corner.<p>

"Found you Bella! Oh, and you Tommy!" Harry skipped to them, blissfully unaware of the crazed look Bellatrix was shooting at him, "I already found Hermione and Lucy, they were arguing like an old married couple, can you believe it?"

"Actually I can," Voldermort stated, "_Lucy,_ as you put it, has an annoying habit of being, well, _annoying_."

"Quite. Anyway, Ron's the only one I haven't found yet," Harry said, "Do you want to help find him?"

"No way," Bellatrix hissed, "I've had enough of you, brat!"

"Fine, go back then. What about you Tommy?" Harry asked, frowning at Bellatrix.

"Indeed I shall assist you in finding the Weasley boy. However, a word of warning Potter. Call me any sort of nickname again and you shall find yourself six feet underground."

"How appropriate considering our surroundings, wouldn't you think, Tom-tom?" Harry jibed back at the dark wizard.

Voldermort nailed Harry with a look dark enough to kill him were he stood. Harry grinned back at him and skipped away. Voldermort rolled his eyes and followed him, whilst Bellatrix scowled and started walking back to Geoffrey's grave.

"So, how do we find the Weasley boy?" Voldermort asked Harry.

"Well, normal procedure is to _look_, Tom.

"You know what I mean, brat."

"Well, first you shut up and see what you can hear." Harry paused and listened hard, Voldermort doing the same.

"I do not hear anything."

"Well, in that case, we move on."

They did this a few times, until Voldermort thought he heard a rustling. He alerted Harry, and the two of them searched for Ron, but failed to find him.

"What do we do now, brat?"

"Well, I have one idea, but it's a little unorthodox."

"Well what is it?"

Harry cleared his throat and proceeded to say in a loud voice; "So, Tommy, did you hear that Lucius ran straight into Hermione and knocked her right over? He fell on top of her as well, I think."

"_What_?!" came an enraged voice from behind them.

"Oh hi Ron, found you!" Harry beamed at his friend.

"Wait, _hey you tricked me_!"

"True, I tricked you. But I didn't lie."

"So, Malfoy did attack Hermione?"

"Nah, more like just ran into her. He was off of her at the speed of light though, and she compensate with her vast vocabulary."

"What was it this time?"

"Well, there were two spectacular moments, but I think 'infuriating, arrogant, pig-headed twat' has a certain ring to it."

"Hah! Serves Malfoy right!" Ron exclaimed with glee. Voldermort watched this exchange with amusement.

"Is she your girlfriend or something, Weasley?" he asked with a smirk.

Ron turned red and started stuttering; "Well, um, I…"

"Hah! He wishes!" Harry interrupted with a snort, "He has a massive crush on her, but Hermione's one true love remains books. Actually, Ron sometimes pretends…"

"Alright, alright," Ron interrupted with a mumble, "let's just get the hell back to Geoffrey's grave already." With that, he started marching towards his destination. Vodermort and Harry exchanged a smirk, before following Ron.

* * *

><p>"…and so if the circuit is complete the transfer of electricity between particles can flow properly and light the bulb." Hermione took a deep breath after having to explain the intricacies of electricity to Lucius, "Now, do you understand that it is not magic yet?"<p>

"Well, I understand the _theory _of it, but it does not seem magically possible."

"Oh for Christ's sake, muggle scientists don't understand magic, and wizards don't understand muggle science. I don't know why people don't like muggleborns, we get the best of both worlds."

"Why would we purebloods need _muggle science_, when we could just use magic?"

"Because you're stuck-up prats, that's why." Hermione mumbled under her breath, just too quietly for Lucius to hear.

"What was that, mudblood?"

"I was just commenting on your inability to remember names, Malfoy." Hermione said sweetly to him.

"_How dare you talk to your superiors like that, mudblood!?"_ came Bellatrix's shrill shriek from behind them.

"I see the inability to remember names runs in the family then." Hermione muttered, earning a snort from Lucius.

"Bellatrix is not my blood relative."

"Please, with all the inbreeding in your family I wouldn't doubt that she's some sort of second cousin."

"Are you calling us inbred, mudblood?" screeched Bellatrix.

"Well, you're not exactly sane, are you Bellatrix?"

Bellatrix did not know what to say to this, and looked at Lucius expectantly. He just shrugged his shoulders at her.

The icy voice of Voldermort sounded beside them, "Come, come. I would not expect two esteemed purebloods such as yourselves to be rendered speechless by the likes of her."

Hermione smirked at this, whilst Lucius frowned and Bellatrix looked like Voldermort had just broken her heart.

"Please, nobody can beat her massive intellect!" Harry sounded from beside Voldermort.

"_Lucius Malfoy I am going to kill you_!"

"Why do you want to kill me now, Weasley?"

"_You attacked Hermione!_"

"I assure you, Weasley, I did no such thing."

"Harry told me that you knocked her to the ground."

"For crying out loud, Ronald. He just ran into me in the dark." Hermione interjected, not particularly appreciating being subjected to the damsel in distress.

"Why are you taking his side now?"

"I'm not, Ronald. I'm simply stating facts."

"Well that's all you ever do, spout information."

"Have you got a problem with that? Because I certainly don't."

"Uh oh. Trouble in paradise." Harry grinned at his two friends, "Seriously, though, can you save it until later please? Some of us want to play this game. Lucius, Hermione, you're counting."

"No way am I leaving Malfoy alone with Hermione."

"For the love of Christ," Hermione muttered to him "you aren't my boyfriend. What is Malfoy going to do, anyway? He can't attack me because it would be so obvious it was him, and he can't get out of here."

"Fine. I don't like this though."

"You don't have to like it, Weasley," Lucius sneered, "you just have to shut up and hide. What do we do now, mudblood?"

Hermione sighed at his blatant language, but let it roll over her head. "We face the stone and count to hundred. I'll count, you just stand. One, two, three…"

As Hermione began counting, Lucius joined her against the stone and waited as the others ran off to hide again.

* * *

><p>"..ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred. Coming ready or not!" Hermione announced.<p>

"So, should we split up or stick together?" Lucius asked.

"I don't care either way."

"In that case, we shall stick together."

"Why? Are you scared?"

"Hardly. I am still slightly unsure of the rules of this game, and anyway, I would like to see Weasley's face when he sees us together."

"We are not 'together,' Malfoy. We have merely been thrown together in unfortunate circumstances." Hermione scoffed.

"Granger, Father, what on earth are you doing?"

The sudden voice from the gate made her jump, and she turned around to see Draco strolling through the gates.

"Draco! Don't come through the gates…" Lucius tried to warn his son, but it was too late. He was now also trapped inside the cemetery.

"Perfect," Hermione muttered, "now I have to deal with Malfoy junior as well as Malfoy senior."

"Sup' mudblood?" Draco asked her with a grin. She gave him a pained look in return.

"Come, we must find the others." Lucius announced to Hermione.

"Since when was she on our side? Don't you think that you should ask a death eater for help finding Bellatrix and Voldermort? That's the reason I came in. It's been three hours without any news."

"I have not 'lost' Bellatrix and Voldermort, Draco. They are hiding from me." Lucius explained to his son. Draco gave him a puzzled look, before collapsing to the ground in a fit of laughter.

"They're hiding from you? That's just too good! I knew you would annoy them all into hiding eventually!"

"Draco, you insolent boy, we are playing a game. Hence Miss Granger's presence."

"Oh it's Miss Granger now? To what do I owe this unexpected show of decorum?" Hermione asked Lucius.

"You never do miss the opportunity to show off your extraordinarily immense vocabulary, do you Granger?" Draco prodded her on the arm. She turned around with a huff and started marching further into the cemetery.

"Come on, Malfoy Senior, we have to find the others. Malfoy Junior, you are extremely _unwelcome _to join us, but somehow I don't believe that will stop you."

"You're damn right, Granger." Draco muttered, and started following Hermione and Lucius into the cemetery.

**There you have it guys! Please review, I'd love to know you're views. I don't think I'll do any pairings unless you guys ask me to, so please let me know if you want a couple to get together! The only pairing I won't do is Hermione/Ron, I just find it quite boring. So, thanks guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Here is the third chapter! Special thanks to and Blademstr, thanks for your feedback guys! Please please please leave reviews, so my special thanks list can be even longer! But thanks to all who have read this, I can't say how much I appreciate it. Can I also say a massive thanks to Cat, she has been amazingly helpful. Thanks Cat! Anways, review and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and am not worth suing. All you'll get it some sweet wrappers and maybe a hairband or two.**

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><p>"So let me get this straight, Granger. None of us can do magic and we can't get out for at least twelve hours?"<p>

"Yes Malfoy. So Harry decided we should play games together like one, big, happy family." Hermione said in a snarky voice.

"Careful, mudblood, people will think you're being serious!" Draco smirked, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

Hermione started stuttering and flushed in the dark. Lucius looked between the two of them, a mildly disgusted expression on his face.

"Please Draco, have some standards." He muttered towards his son, whilst glaring at Hermione.

"I'm sorry Mr Malfoy," Hermione said sweetly, turning towards Lucius, "what are these standards you talk of?"

"Not flirting with mudbloods, for one." He stated, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"So, rolling around on the floor with one isn't flirting, Mr Malfoy?" Hermione asked innocently.

Lucius turned red and was just about to retort when Draco's guffaws interrupted. For the second time, he was rolling around on the floor at his father's expense.

"Why you weren't in Slytherin," he managed to gasp out, "is a complete mystery to me!"

"I shall take that as a compliment." Hermione turned and strolled of into the darkness of the cemetery, whistling to herself. Draco looked after her and gave a low whistle.

"When did she become so snarky?" he asked his father, who was still trying to get a grip of himself after his defeat.

"It's probably the threat of imminent war and possible death." Lucius grumbled.

"And yet the one who would declare war on her, or possibly kill her, is currently hiding from her in a cemetery. Don't you just love irony?" Draco scoffed, before walking after Hermione.

"At this moment I find it a bloody nuisance, actually." Lucius muttered before following his son.

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><p>Whilst Ron had chosen to run off by himself, Harry had opted to stay with Voldermort. Bellatrix had taken it upon herself to become Voldermort's own personal arm extension. They were wondering around, looking for a good hiding spot when they discovered the entrance to the catacombs beneath the cemetery.<p>

"Hey," Voldermort asked, prodding Harry, "Why don't we go down there?"

"Because, Tom, it is against the rules."

"Why is it against the rules, Potter?"

"Well, when we made them up, we had to consider Ron's fear of spiders, Hermione's fear of getting lost and _my _fear of… um, losingmyfriendstoagiantcavedwellingmonster! That's it, losing my friends to a giant cave dwelling monster."

"Mmhm, sure." came Bellatrix's nasally voice from Voldermort's arm.

Well, you can't be _that _scared of giant monsters, considering how efficiently you killed my pet basilisk." Voldermort teased Harry.

"_My pet basilisk_, now that's something you don't hear every day. However, it would make an amazing TV programme." Harry mused, his voice drifting off at the end.

"What are you talking about Potter?" Voldermort asked, giving Harry a quizzical look.

"Come on, you've never heard of TV before? Where have you been for the past ten years?"

"Dead, actually Potter."

"True, _but still_. Next you'll be telling me you don't know where the bloody Eiffel tower is."

"Come now, Potter, of course I know where _le tour d'Eiffel_ is. I am not that unaware of the muggle world. Soon I shall have to rule it."

"You're pretty damn certain you're going to win, aren't you Tom." Harry asked in all seriousness.

"You dare to doubt the Dark Lord, you filthy half-blood?" Bellatrix screeched.

"Come now, Bella. In insulting my half-blood status you are insulting Tom's blood status as well. You wouldn't dare call _him _a filthy half-blood, now would you."

"You wouldn't either, Potter!"

"Sure I would," Harry announced, giving Bellatrix a grin, "Tom, you are a filthy half-blood."

It was this precise moment that Hermione, Lucius and Draco walked round the corner. Whilst Lucius was in a state of horror, Draco in a state of shock and Hermione in a state of trying not to burst out laughing, all three were certain that Harry Potter was a dead man walking.

Everybody present nearly fainted from astonishment when Voldermort started chuckling.

"Not many people would have the balls to do that, Potter, and I admire you for it."

This was just too much for Draco and Hermione, who took one look at each other and collapsed in a fit of mirth. Lucius and Bellatrix were not so happy though. They felt extremely wounded that the Dark Lord admitted to admiring his sworn enemy, but had never had the slightest respect for them.

"Well," Harry started, "this _is_ a mighty honour. Remember those badges you made in fourth year, Draco? Think you could make one saying 'the Dark Lord admires me'? How did you even get here?"

This just made Draco and Hermione laugh all the harder. After a while, when they had managed to compose a small level of normalcy, they stood up.

"Come on," Hermione stated weakly, wiping away a stray tear, "we should probably find Ron."

"Weaselbee's here?" Draco groaned.

"Well of course he is Malfoy," Harry looked at him like he was stupid, "the question is, why are you here?"

"Voldermort stationed a couple of death eaters outside the cemetery. If there was no news after three hours, I had to come in. If there was no news after that for three hours, my mum has to come in, and after her, Snape."

"Narcissa's going to come in?" Lucius asked, "Shouldn't we warn her not to come in?"

"No point," Voldermort stated, "I posted them about half a mile away. Without magic, we can't reach them."

Lucius was getting more distressed for his wife, "Well, couldn't we post someone by the gates warning them not to come in?"

"No, Lucius." Voldermort ordered. "When it comes down to it, I want to outnumber them when the spell is broken."

"But we already outnumber them, my Lord." Bellatrix whined, still clinging to his arm.

"In numbers, maybe. But if Granger is capable of leaving yourself and Lucius stuttering incoherently with her sharp tongue alone, I dread to think what she can do with her wand. And Draco's out of the picture, considering all the looks he's been giving her. Hmm, yes, you'd make a valuable asset to our ranks, Granger, would you consider joining us?"

"Not bloody likely!" snorted Draco.

Hermione gave a mock bow. "My Lord, I am truly _honoured_ that you have requested me to join your ranks, but in all honesty, I would gnaw off my own foot before having to kiss your scaly arse for the rest of my life."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, mudblood." Voldermort grinned at her, and she beamed back at him.

"Now, I'm off to find Ron. Anybody who would like to join me, please follow." Hermione announced.

Everybody except Harry and Draco turned to leave. When Hermione raised an eyebrow at Draco, his sole response was, "Just to piss Ron off."

**(AN: Thanks to Blademstr for that line, I thought it was hilarious!)**

"Understandable." Harry stated, matter-of-factly. Hermione snorted, earning a grin from Draco, which she in turn rolled her eyes at. Harry watched this exchange with interest.

"Geez, just kiss already!" he muttered whilst striding off. Draco looked at Hermione expectantly, to which she just shoved him.

"In your dreams, Malfoy." She mumbled to him.

"Nah, Granger. In _yours_."

She scoffed and turned away from Draco, who was wearing a stupidly large grin, and followed Harry.

* * *

><p>They found Ron soon enough. Harry decided to try the same tactic he used whilst he was searching with Voldermort. After they had stopped and listened at several places, Harry thought he heard something. He promptly began to say things he knew would wind Ron up enough for him to reveal himself.<p>

"I _can't believe _you got asked by Voldermort to join the death eaters and got snogged by Draco all in ten minutes Hermione!"

"_Harry!_" Hermione squealed at the same time they all heard a muffled "_What!_" from behind a statue.

Ron revealed himself and was very quickly death-staring Draco, "What are you doing here, Ferret?"

Draco scowled, but quickly compensated by throwing an arm around Hermione and announcing, "Snogging your girlfriend, obviously!"

"Bloody hell, 'Mione!" Ron exclaimed, "What is it with you and Malfoys?"

"Do I want to know?" Draco murmured to Hermione.

"Nope." She replied. "Harry, would you please tell Ronald that you are a blatant liar?"

"Fine. I did lie about the snogging, but the death eater bit is true."

"Then how come he still has his arm around her?" Ron asked, despair leaking into his voice. Hermione quickly stepped out from underneath Draco's arm and took a generous step away. Draco ignored this, and started describing the previous events to Ron.

"It was bloody brilliant, Weaselbee. First Voldermort told Harry he admired him, then he admitted that Hermione had the power to floor two powerful death eaters with her wit alone, then asked her to join him."

"Whatever," Ron grumbled, clearly annoyed that he had missed so much, "let's just go back to Geoffrey's grave. I'm starting to get bored with hide and seek, and I'm really tired. Let's play something else after a long nap."

Harry gave this some thought, before nodding.

"Good idea. We'll sleep, and then play something else. Think of some good games we could all play, guys."

* * *

><p>It had been an hour since Draco's arrival, and they were all expecting Narcissa in the next two hours. They were all, however, very tired and wanting to go to sleep. Hermione grabbed her bag and produced five spacious sleeping bags.<p>

"This is all I have. Three pairs will have to share, but two can have their own considering we shall be joined by Narcissa soon enough. Lucius, I assume you would like to share with her."

"Of course. I shall wait up by the gate for her." Lucius grabbed one of the sleeping bags and walked towards the gate.

Bellatrix grabbed Voldermort's arm and proceeded to beg him to share with her.

"The Dark Lord does not share. I shall be sleeping alone." He announced grabbing a sleeping bag. Nobody argued, as nobody particularly wanted to share with him. Bellatrix sent him a mournful look, but soon replaced that with a scowl towards the four teenagers.

"I'm not sharing with any of _you_! Give me a sleeping bag." She marched up and laid her sleeping bag very close to Voldermort's before crawling into it, grumbling about her thirst.

Hermione suddenly remembered the numerous bottles of water in her bag.

"Right, you three sort out our sleeping arrangements. I'm going to distribute water."

She grabbed her bag and walked over to Bellatrix and Voldermort, throwing them a water bottle each.

"You really would be a valuable asset, Granger." came Voldermort's muffled voice. Hermione figured it was his way of saying thanks. Bellatrix just grunted. Hermione rolled her eyes and walked towards Lucius. She held two bottles out to him. When he didn't take them and gave her a suspicious look, she scoffed.

"It's water, Malfoy. Not a fatal potion. Look, there's one for you and one for Narcissa."

"Thanks," he grunted, suddenly a realisation dawned on his face. "What about Snape? Surely we'll still be asleep when he arrives."

Hermione snorted, "The grumpy old coot will probably wake us all up, at which point I'll throw him a mouldy old blanket and a brief explanation of our situation, before ordering him to either go to sleep or to piss off."

Now it was Lucius' turn to snort, "I'll hold you to it." He said with a wry smile. She grinned at him before walking back to her fellow schoolmates to provide them with water.

Draco and Ron seemed to be in a heated argument about who got to share with her. Harry was watching on with an amused expression.

"If you two don't shut it, I'll bunk with Harry!" She threatened them. It was almost comical how quickly they protested, considering that would mean they would have to bunk together. Hermione picked up a twig and put her hands behind her back, swapping the twig between the two before holding them out in front of her.

"Ron, if you pick the hand with the twig, you'll bunk with me."

Ron sighed, but obligingly tapped her right hand. It was empty. The rage on his face was hilarious.

"But, he's a _death eater_!" he protested.

"Exactly, Ron," Hermione countered, "who do you think he's most likely to murder? Harry or me?" She took his silence as an agreement.

Just as they were all about to crawl into their sleeping bags, Harry yelled, "Right you gits, tomorrow we're playing Truth or Dare, got it?" There was a chorus of groans but everybody seemed fairly okay with it.

Just as Hermione was settling down, her chest against Draco's back, she felt his strong arm wrap around her waist.

"Hands to yourself, Malfoy!" she muttered. She heard him chuckle lightly, but he withdrew his arm and they all fell into slumber.

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><p><strong>Well there you have it! Please review if there are any particular truths or dares you might want to appear. Bye!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Um, yeah I'm still alive, sorry about the delay! Thanks again to Blademstr for your input, and may I just say that quite a few things in this chapter are ideas of Blademstr. Credit where it is due, people! Anyways, please review guys! Pretty please… I shall send you virtual cupcakes if you do! Right, enough of my grovelling, on with the story!**

**P.S. If anyone is scared of spiders, be wary of this chapter.**

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><p>"<em>What on earth is going on here?<em>"

Hermione grumbled when she heard the angry voice of Severus Snape. She decided to ignore it though, after all, she was still half asleep and _very _comfortable. Her face was buried in a muscled chest and two strong arms surrounded her cocooning her in warmth. She tried to remember who it was. Ron? Oh, no, it was Draco Malfoy…

"_Draco Malfoy!_" She screeched shoving away from him, which was difficult considering they were trapped together in a sleeping bag. He grumbled and opened his eyes, grinning at her when he saw her.

"I hate to interrupt such a special moment, but what on earth is going on here?" a sardonic voice came from somewhere. Hermione looked up. Oh yeah, Snape was here. Joy.

She sighed and crawled out of the sleeping bag, instantly regretting the loss of warmth. She wrapped her jacket around her tighter and walked over to her bag.

"Long story short, we're all trapped in here and we can't do magic or get out for at least twenty-four hours."

"Thirty-six." Someone grumbled. Hermione looked over to see Lucius sitting up in his sleeping bag, careful not to disturb Narcissa, who was cuddled up to him fast asleep.

"What did you say?" She groaned, rubbing her hands over her face.

"I said thirty-six hours. Cissy panicked and tried to get out. Sorry." He explained before promptly lying back down and going to sleep. Hermione thought he didn't sound particularly apologetic.

"Your father's a git, you know that right, Draco?"

Draco snorted from beneath the cover of the sleeping bag, and Hermione swore she _heard _Lucius smirking.

"Oi, shut it!" Harry murmured from his sleeping bag, still half asleep. He then woke up properly, and very quickly let out a horrified yelp, "Ron, get your armpit _out of my face_!"

Ron grumbled but rolled over. They all heard Bellatrix screech, "Silence, brats! I do not want to witness any of you waking up the Dark Lord, I promise you it _isn't pretty_!"

Hermione groaned again, and turned back to Snape. "Unless you want to share with Bellatrix or Tom, you'll have to use this." She said, holding up the ratty blanket.

"Will people _please _shut up and stop calling me Tom!" Voldermort yelled from inside his sleeping bag. Snape looked at Hermione and held his hand out.

"I'll take the blanket." He drawled and snatched it off Hermione, who was now properly shivering from the cold.

"Good. Oh, and, we're all playing Truth or Dare tomorrow." She got out past her chattering teeth.

"Oh, the waiting kills me." Snape spat sardonically, "And would you please stop that incessant noise with your teeth. It is giving me a headache."

Hermione glared at him and flounced back to her sleeping bag, fully aware of the smirk Snape was shooting at her back. She wriggled into the sleeping bag, elbowing Draco on the way in.

"_Oooph_! Keep your elbows to yourself, Granger! Jesus you're_ freezing!_" Draco grumbled at her.

"Shut up, Malfoy. I'm concentrating on unfreezing my toes."

"Forget your toes, I'd unfreeze your _elbows_, geez! Hey, what are you doing?!" Draco exclaimed as Hermione curled into him.

"I'm freezing, you're warm! What did you think I was doing?"

"Well, actually I'd _hoped_ that you were…"

"Shut up, Draco," Hermione interrupted, "I don't think I particularly want you to finish that sentence." Hermione muttered into his chest, which was clothed in a thick woollen turtleneck. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her.

"Goodnight, Malfoy."

"Well it will be in this situation." Draco sniggered. Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes, but would prefer to snuggle down into sleep rather than argue all night with Draco. Soon they were all asleep again.

* * *

><p>Harry opened his eyes sleepily and poked his head out of his sleeping bag. The first rays of sunlight were just peeping over the horizon. That meant only twenty-four more hours. Wait, hadn't he heard something about 'Cissy freaking out'? Harry groaned, that meant thirty-six hours. A loud rumble from a stomach beside him made him turn to Ron.<p>

"Hungry, mate?" Harry goaded, grinning at his friend.

"You don't know the half of it." Ron mumbled back. "And we still have twenty-four hours left!"

"Thirty-six, actually." Harry confessed.

"_What! Why?"_ Ron yelled, sitting up suddenly.

"Narcissa Malfoy, that's why." Harry said, irritated. Ron groaned and looked around. Voldermort and Bellatrix were behind a massive tombstone, Snape was on top of said tombstone, Lucius and Narcissa were by the gates and Draco and Hermione were curled up by Geoffrey's grave. Ron glared over at Draco, wishing with all his might that it was Hermione in his arms. His rumbling stomach distracted him from his moping, and he threw a look at Harry.

"D'ya think 'Mione has any food in that bag of hers?" he asked hopefully.

"No idea. Probably. Have you thought of any good dares?" Harry asked him back.

"No, too busy plotting revenge on the ferret. _Hey!_" he suddenly exclaimed looking at Harry with the excitement of a child in a sweetshop. "I can get revenge with a dare! Or truth." He added as an afterthought.

"I dunno," Harry mused, "I kinda want to see the look on Malfoy senior when I dare his son to snog Hermione. That would be hilarious. Or better yet, see the look on Malfoy junior's face when I dare his father to hug Hermione!" Harry finished with glee.

"Are you kidding? I think Lucius would rather hang himself than hug a muggleborn!" Ron exclaimed, and they both giggled at the mental image of Hermione and Lucis being anything but hostile towards each other.

Narcissa woke to inane giggling coming from somewhere. She carefully crawled out of the sleeping bag, not wanting to disturb her husband. She looked around and couldn't help giggling herself at the scene in front of her. She hadn't pegged anyone here as the 'happy campers' type.

She wandered over to where her son was asleep with the curly-haired girl from Hogwarts. She smirked at them before wandering round the gravestone to see the Potter and the Weaseley boy giggling at something.

She raised her eyebrow and gave a wry cough, and tried desperately not to laugh at their shocked expressions.

"Mrs Malfoy! Um, sorry to wake you up, we just, um…" Harry stuttered at the elegant pureblood.

"Please, I'm used to it. I'm not accustomed to being this hungry, though. I haven't eaten in twenty-four hours. Do you gentlemen have any food?"

"Um, no." Harry stated. "Sorry."

"You mean to tell me you haven't eaten either? Honestly, it isn't healthy for you to skip meals. Have you even remembered to brush your teeth recently? And when was the last time you combed your hair. This won't do. I seem to remember Lucius telling me about the magical bag belonging to Miss Granger. I am going to find you two some food, and then I shall do something about the atrocities on top of your head. You poor children, you desperately need a mother figure." She finished, pulling a shocked Harry into an embrace, before making her way over to Hermione's bag.

"Bloody hell." Ron stuttered. "Well that explains Draco's hair. And Lucius' for that matter. That woman is unbelievable!"

Harry chuckled at his friend, still trying to grasp what had happened.

* * *

><p>An hour later, everyone was awake and eating some bread and jam Hermione had conjured up. The majority were trying very hard not to laugh at Harry and Ron's hair, which had been meticulously combed by Narcissa.<p>

"So what are we playing?" Lucius asked haughtily.

"Truth or dare," Hermione beamed at him, "basically you ask someone either truth or dare, and if they choose truth, you ask them a question. If they choose dare, you dare them to do something. Then, the person you asked chooses who they want to truth or dare after they have done their own truth or dare. Kapeesh?"

"What is 'kapeesh', Granger?" Draco asked her with a confused expression. She sighed and shook her head.

"Muggle saying. It means 'understand.'" She explained. "Anyway, do you get it?"

"I think so." Voldermort said slowly. "But how will we ensure people tell the truth? Torture?"

Hermione snorted. "Please, I have veritisatum in by bag. And if someone doesn't do a dare, let's say that they get no food for the rest of our stay here. Kapeesh?"

Draco shook his head and chuckled, as Hermione got the veritisatum out of her bag and passed it around everyone.

"Shall we start?" She said

"Yeah!" shouted Harry. "I'll go first. Hmm, Snape, truth or dare?"

Snape glared at Harry, who beamed back. "Fine, Potter. I choose truth."

"Excellent," Harry grinned, "which out of us three Gryffindors do you detest the least?"

Snape scowled deeply, and they could see he was fighting the veritisatum hard. Finally, he managed to blurt out, "Granger."

Hermione's face turned blank as Ron, Harry and Draco guffawed.

"Why?" Hermione asked quizzically.

"Isn't it obvious? You have veritisatum in your bag, shouldn't that be a hint? Anyway, I hated James Potter and therefore Harry, and Ron is a prat."

Ron rolled his eyes, whilst Harry proceeded to yell at Snape for daring to slander his father's name.

"My turn." Snape drawled blankly. "Weaseley. Truth or dare?"

Ron grinned broadly. "I'll go with dare." He smirked arrogantly.

Snape stood and walked off.

"Hey, where the bloody hell are you going Snape?" Ron yelled after him.

"I'll be back soon." Snape called over his shoulder.

"What do we do now?" Bellatrix shrieked.

Voldermort sighed from beside her. "I don't know. We might as well go and hunt wrackspurts."

Harry blanched at the mention of wrackspurts and Hermione frowned in thought.

"Wrackspurts… Hey! That reminds me of Lun…"

"Hello everybody," somebody interrupted "I heard someone mention wrackspurts, and I was in the area looking for them, as they are especially attracted to confused minds, and there seems to be a lot of confusion around here." A dreamy voice floated towards them. Everyone turned to see Luna Lovegood ambling towards them. Upon seeing her, Harry had turned bright red. Unfortunately for him, Draco noticed this.

"Oi, Potter, why has your face turned the colour of Weasel's hair?" He taunted, puffing his chest out slightly in arrogance when he heard Hermione giggle.

"Shut it, Malfoy." Harry grumbled looking down.

"Aww, has widdle baby Potter got a crush?" Draco mocked further.

"Silence brats," Voldermort interrupted, "Did you say you were hunting wrackspurts?"

"Well yes, and nargles. Have you seen any mistletoe?" She asked Voldermort innocently.

"No I haven't, but you should try hawthorn as well. You'll find they settle for that if they can't find mistletoe." Voldermort answered.

"How interesting. I might try that." She smiled, and sat beside Voldermort at ease. Harry spluttered with indignation at her.

"Luna, you do realise who he is?" Harry asked, completely baffled.

"Well, yes. But he can't do anything as none of us can do magic or get out. Such a shame. Anyway, without magic, he's no different from us. Apart from his unfortunate lack of nose."

Draco snorted and Hermione bit down on her lip to keep from laughing. Voldermort himself looked slightly bemused, but shrugged his shoulders and sat back.

"How do you know about our situation?" Lucius asked Luna.

"Snorkacks, they can be very informative." She replied.

Snape walked back around the corner, holding something in his hands. He looked a little confused when he saw Luna, but he didn't comment on it, he just sat back down.

"Ronald Weaseley, I dare you to eat this spider!" He proclaimed lodle, holding out his hand so that everyone could see the hairy beast he held in his hands. Ron paled and shook his head. However, everyone else were in various states of breaking down with laughter. Harry had fallen down onto his back and Hermione had tears rolling down her face. Only Voldermort and Lucius held some semblance of control, but even they couldn't help the large grins that spread across their faces.

"_No way!_" Ron finally managed to stutter. Hermione recovered herself enough to tut at Ron.

"You know that means no more food, right Ronald?" She teased, clearly seeing the panic on Ron's face. He seemed to struggle internally with this decision, before finally coming to a conclusion.

"Fine, I'll do it." He mumbled, holding his hands out for the spider. Snape passed it to him and sniggered at his ashen face. Ron slowly raised it to his mouth and closed his eyes, before stuffing it in his mouth and swallowing.

All the girls in the circle proceeded to groan in disgust, whilst all the men, excluding Ron of course, were guffawing. Ron scowled and tried to calm them all down.

"Alright, alright, shut up you gits. Lucius, truth or dare?"

The blond wizard raised his eyebrows and smirked slightly. "Truth."

Ron grinned, "Ok, I have a two part question. First, what exactly does Malfoy industries do?"

Lucius scoffed. "That's your question? Fine, Malfoy industries provides insurance for magical objects."

"Ok, ok," Ron said, "second question. Do you have a special branch of hair-care products specifically for dealing with your hair?"

"_No, of course not,_" Lucius answered, "My hair, however, is insured with Malfoy industries." He bragged. Hermione and Harry looked at each other, trying not to laugh, whilst Draco had his face in his hand.

"Father, that is not something to be proud of!" he moaned.

"You won't understand until you're older, Draco. Now, who should I ask? How about… Miss Granger?" he smirked. Hermione paled and all the death eaters sneered at her.

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><p><strong>There you have it, folks! Please review, if I get lots of reviews I will update by next Monday. Bye!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello people! I realised I forgot to do a disclaimer in my previous chapter, so this is me saying I don't own anything. I know I said I'd upload on Monday but… um… yeah I have nothing. Sorry guys! Thanks to Blademstr for giving me amazing ideas, Cat for being Cat and Miss Rowling for providing this wonderful universe. So, um, please review and let's get on with the story! Oh yeah, and a virtual cupcake to Guest, I'm sorry I don't know your name but thanks so much anyway! Blademstr, you can have the whole virtual bakery!**

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><p>"How about… Miss Granger?" he smirked. Hermione paled and all the death eaters sneered at her.<p>

"Truth or dare, mudblood?"

"_Lucius Malfoy!_" Narcissa interrupted, "Please refrain from mad-mouthing Harry's friends. The poor boy has been through enough without you torturing his friends. You better be nice or you'll find yourself without a bedroom."

"I'll just sleep in one of the spare rooms!" Lucius grumbled.

"Nope," Narcissa smiled sweetly, "all the beds are out being cleaned. As are the sofas, for that matter."

"Transfiguration!" Lucius exclaimed triumphantly.

"Bella, don't you just hate it when the wards on your house go wrong, and leave you unable to cast charms," Narcissa said, turning to her sister, "it's so irritating!"

Lucius groaned. "Fine, you win! I'll attempt to be civil. I had a really good one as well…" he muttered.

Voldermort snorted. "You know, it's amazing. You think you know who's in charge, and then the woman shows up!"

Luna nodded from beside him. "Yes, I think there's a muggle saying about it. Something like, in front of every woman there's a man. No, that's not right, I think it's every great woman is behind a man, no, that's not it either…"

"Behind every great man, there's an even greater woman?" Hermione offered from beside Draco.

"Yes, that's it!" Luna exclaimed happily. "Who's the woman behind you, Tom?"

Voldermort was just about to answer when a shrill voice pitched in from beside him.

"_Me! I'm his great woman!_" Bellatrix shrieked, giving Luna the evil eye. Voldermort snorted. "As if! Nope, the position is currently vacant, and will remain so as long as I live."

"That's a shame." Luna said, "Who do you talk to about your personal issues?"

Draco snorted. "Like what? His lack of nose?"

Voldermort glared at the young blond and shook his head. "I tell Nagini. Yes! Nagini's my great woman! Well, snake."

"That's nice." Luna commented.

"Enough, I'm bored! Granger, truth or dare?" Lucius moaned.

Hermione huffed. "Fine! Dare."

Lucius tapped his chin in thought, and then his eyes suddenly lit up with an idea. "I dare you to not do _anything _to your hair whilst we are here." He proclaimed triumphantly.

Hermione gasped. "You didn't!" she hissed. He grinned at her. "I did!"

She groaned and held her head in her hands. "I cannot believe you would stoop so low!"

Only Harry, Ron and Draco seemed to realise why this dare was so bad, and they were rolling on the floor laughing.

"That is _priceless_!" Ron managed to gasp out.

Voldermort looked at Luna in confusion. "Why is that so bad?" he asked her. "I think it's something to do with the fact that if she doesn't do anything to it, her hair becomes frizzy, poofy, massive, _colossal…"_

"Yes, _alright_!" Hermione grumbled. Bellatrix burst into peals of delighted laughter as well.

"We _have _to take a photo!" Ron yelled, still gasping with laughter, "You look so stupid when your hair is out of control!"

Hermione scowled. "For that, Ronald, truth or dare! In fact, you don't even have a choice, you are doing a dare!"

The transformation of Ron's face was almost humorous. "But, that's not _fair_!" he whinged.

"It is with the comment you just made, Ronald!" Hermione scolded. Ron looked at Harry pleadingly, begging him to step in.

"Sorry, mate," Harry said, "that comment was uncalled for. You're on your own."

Ron groaned. "Fine! What's my dare?"

"You bunk with Bellatrix tonight."

"_What?!" _came two simultaneous shrieks of horror from opposite sides of the circle.

"But that's not fair!" Bellatrix whined, "It wasn't my dare!"

"Yes, that was for laughing at me earlier!" Hermione shot back at her.

"Draco and Harry were laughing as well!" she moaned.

"Harry's my friend. As long as he doesn't take it too far like Ronald did, he's allowed to laugh. And Draco's just a twat. I expect it from him."

"Hey! That's mean…" Draco whined.

"I mean it lovingly, Draco _darling_." Hermione muttered sarcastically. Draco didn't pick up on this though, he was too happy that Hermione had just called him 'darling'.

"Are we agreed?" She asked, making it very clear with her tone of voice that there was no space for argument.

"Fine!" Ron spat. "Harry, you prat, truth or dare?"

"Truth." Harry answered.

"Who do you fancy most in this circle?" Ron asked

"_Please say Snape, please say Snape…" _Draco chanted under his breath with a grin, until Hermione elbowed him.

"Luna!" Harry blurted before he could do anything about it. "Drat!" Draco exclaimed.

Harry turned crimson, whilst Luna just stared him with a slightly surprised expression.

"Ooh! Someone has a boyfriend!" Voldermort teased Luna, giggling like a teenage girl. Luna herself smiled slightly. "That's nice, Harry. Um, what do I say now Hermione?" She asked turning to the astonished Gryffindor. This was too much for Hermione who couldn't stop laughing. "It seems I have some matchmaking to do." She sniggered.

Harry groaned. "Okay, I want the attention off me now. Draco, truth or dare?"

Draco grinned, "I'll go with dare."

"Snog Hermione."

"Holy hell, Potter!" Draco screeched, turning bright red at Hermione's face.

"Isn't it enough that we sleep in the same sleeping bag, now you want us snogging?" Hermione herself whined.

"Yep!" Harry grinned.

There was an onslaught of sound from everybody. Lucius was yelling about the 'atrocity of even associating with a mudblood', Narcissa was scolding Draco for his bad language and Lucius for calling Harry's friend a mudblood, Ron was close to bawling his eyes out, Bellatrix was screeching something about Draco not disgracing the 'almighty lord of all', Snape was muttering about incompetent fools, Harry was guffawing at Draco's face, Luna was giggling softly at everybody and Voldermort was asking Luna what snogging was.

"Shut it!" Hermione yelled, effectively silencing everybody. "Now, let me just get this straight, Harry, you want me to snog the ferret? Why?"

Harry pretended to ponder this for a while, before answering; "Hmm, let me think about that one… isn't it bloody obvious 'Mione? Three reasons, the first being I'm annoyed with Ronald and this seems to be an adequate thing to annoy him back. Second, the sexual tension between the two of you is annoying me, so I thought I'd give you a boost. Thirdly, it will be bloody hilarious!"

"Wow." Hermione uttered, raising a single eyebrow. "I cannot believe you actually just said that. I am never going to forgive you, Harry James Potter!"

Draco slapped his hand to his forehead. "I can't believe you would stoop so low Potter. You could be in Slytherin, it would take trickery like that to get me to snog Granger."

"What's that supposed to mean, ferret?" Hermione asked turning to Draco.

"It simply means that the likes of me would never willingly kiss the like of you."

"Yes!" Lucius slapped Narcissa on the back in pride, choosing to ignore the death stares she sent his way. "That's my boy!"

Hermione scoffed and turned away from Draco. "Please, if the likes of me can _easily _beat the likes of you in _all _our classes, I would say it was me who would never stoop so low as to snog _you_!"

"Isn't that's hitting a little below the belt?"

"Please, if I could use magic, I'd show you what hitting below the belt is!"

"Mudblood!"

"Ferret!"

"You _wish_!"

And then, they kissed.

A silence resounded over everybody, as Draco embraced Hermione in a passionate stupor. All except Harry and Luna had a mixture of disgust and amusement playing over their faces. Ron's face was just a mixture of despair and revulsion. For minutes, nobody said anything, until Snape coughed awkwardly.

Hermione pushed Draco away from her and pinned Harry with a vicious glare. "Is that good enough for you?"

Harry's face morphed into a smug grin. "Yep, perfectly fine."

Draco stumbled away, a stupid grin on his face. He poked Ron, "She's a really good kisser, Weaslebee!" Ron looked ready to murder him.

"Be mature, Draco!" Hermione scolded, still glaring at Harry.

"Fine, fine." Draco shrugged. "But you can't deny me this, revenge time Harry!" He turned to Luna, and in an uncharacteristically nice voice asked her "Truth or dare?"

She looked at him suspiciously. "Will you make me kiss anyone?"

Draco looked so convincingly offended, it was ridiculously unconvincing. "Why, of course not!"

"You are so full of it." Hermione muttered, and Draco couldn't help but smirk.

"No, whilst I would enjoy seeing Harry squirm as Luna and Ron snogged, I have a better idea. Don't worry Luna, it will be just peachy!"

"Okay!" she chanted happily, "I'll go dare!"

"Excellent!" Draco leered, too triumphantly. "You're not the only match-maker here, Potter!"

Harry only had time to utter "Crap!" Before Draco announced "Luna Lovegood, I dare you to bunk with Harry! He's free now, isn't he?"

"Okay!" Luna said. Harry, however, had a much different reaction. He held his head in his hands and choked slightly on seemingly nothing. "Really, Malfoy?" He moaned.

"Yep!" he grinned happily.

"Ugh, this was supposed to be fun. Can't we do some more interesting things?" Lucius asked.

"Fine! Fine, Malfoy." Harry growled. "Alright, Lord Scaly-butt! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Voldermort drawled.

"Hermione grab me your bag!" Harry grinned.

"Fine." She muttered and got up to get her bag. She retrieved it and chucked it to Harry, and was about to sit down when Draco pulled her down into his lap. She cursed darkly at him and he smiled sweetly back, but otherwise Hermione made no effort to move.

Harry mock gagged. "I don't know what I've started!" He pulled out a vial. "Here, drink this." He said passing it to Voldermort.

"It won't kill me, will it?" He asked. Before Harry could answer, Snape cut in.

"Please, do you really think the blithering idiots I have the misfortune of calling my students would really have the ability to create a potion of living death? I think not." Snape concluded, actively ignoring the fuming Hermione sitting on Draco's lap.

"I think our dear professor said it all," Harry smirked, "Nah, it won't kill you, lizard-breath. Much funnier than that!"

"I shall drink it then." Said Voldermort, accepting the small vial from Harry and drinking it in one gulp. Almost immediately, he turned bright pink.

Through peals of delighted laughter, Harry said, "Hermione and I were originally planning to give it to Ron. It's from Fred and George's shop, and it's only meant to turn your hair pink, but you don't have any!"

Voldermort was silently seething, and he managed to bite out, "when will the effects wear off?"

"In about an hour or two, no sweat!" Harry replied.

"Fine. Bellatrix, truth or dare?"

"Truth, my lord." Bellatrix simpered.

"Hmm, you are always annoying me, so I think I shall have some revenge. How many people in this circle have you been to bed with?"

"Four!"

"You have not been to bed with me, remember Bellatrix?"

"And just sleeping in the same bed as me doesn't count either Bellatrix!" Narcissa called from beside Lucius, who was looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Fine, two." She grumbled.

"It's incredible," Draco commented, "that my aunt takes pride in being a slut!"

"Easy now, boy," Bellatrix seethed, "guess which people around this circle I have been to bed with!"

"Well," Draco started, "Hermione, Luna, Harry and I are definitely out. Ron might of-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, Malfoy!" Ron squealed.

"Fine. It won't have been Voldermort or Mother, so that only leaves-"

"Snape?!" Hermione interjected, astounded.

"I was drunk and twenty three!" came Snape's reply.

"I don't want to even think about that, gross!" Hermione shuddered.

"And Father!" Draco finished, looking decidedly horrified.

Narcissa slowly turned her head towards her husband.

"Anything you would like to confess, dear?" She asked, venom laced into her voice.

"I was in fourth year. Our parents hadn't made our engagement official yet!"

"Fourth year? I you telling me you had sex with my sister at the age of fourteen?"

"Okay! I have had enough of this conversation!" Draco yelled, cutting his parents off.

"You're no better, Malfoy!" Ron whined, "What was it, third year with Pansy Parkinson?"

"Bloody hell, Draco!" Hermione gasped, launching herself off of his lap.

"Thanks for that, Weaslebee!" Draco muttered.

"You and I will be having words, young man!" Narcissa scolded.

"Really, thanks!" He muttered again to a smug looking Ron.

"Truth or dare Draco!" Bellatrix screeched.

"Why is everyone suddenly picking on me? I'll go truth."

Bellatrix thought for a while, and then an idea lit up her eyes. "I remember when you were ten I baked you a cake, and I seem to remember you choking slightly as you ate it. So, my question is, do you like Aunty Bella's cooking?"

"No, it's disgusting!" Draco said before he could stop himself.

"Well that's offensive!" His aunt muttered in response.

"Yep. Snape, truth or dare?"

"Dare." He drawled.

"I dare you to profess your undying love to the late James Potter!"

Everyone waited in suspense for Snape to start shouting out with horror, but he simply said, "I have, do, and always will love James Potter. Satisfied?"

"No, not really," Draco replied, "that was pathetic!"

"You'll get over it, I imagine! Granger, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"How many times have you answered a question wrong in school?"

"Twenty-seven."

"Seriously? That's not human, Hermione!" Ron interjected.

"You are right," Snape drawled, "it is pitiful. Twenty-seven points from Gryffindor!"

"You really need a hobby!" Hermione muttered under her breath. Snape heard, "Ah, but I have one. Being the bane of every single reckless Gryffindor's life is my hobby!"

"Why don't you try yoga? Or therapy, I think you have issues!" Harry said. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Ronald, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Okay I want you to tell us… what the hell Ginny and Pansy are doing running towards us!"

Sure enough, Ginny and Pansy were sprinting towards them and were soon in front of them panting.

"What the…" Ron gaped.

* * *

><p><strong>Yep! I'm bringing in Ginny and Pansy! Expect some jealousy and possessiveness in future chapters. Please review with ideas and thanks for reading!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! I know it has been simply ages, but I have been really really really busy! So, I don't own anything etc etc. Thanks the Blademstr for your help; I shall be using loads of your ideas! Listen, I quite want to write a more serious HP fanfiction, so if you guys have any ideas please PM me or something.**

**LilyYumikoRockMe: Thanks so much, but I probably won't write a parallel story, I simply don't have the time. I'm glad you like this though!**

"Harry! I've found you! Thank Merlin!" Ginny gasped throwing herself at Harry.

"Bloody hell, what am I? Chopped liver?" Ron grumbled, crossing his arms and glaring at Harry.

"Sorry Ron, but I've just been so worried about my Harry-kins!" Ginny gushed, squishing her face into Harry's shoulder. Narcissa elbowed Lucius "That is so sweet!" He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

Harry in the meantime was trying to pry Ginny off of him, but her arms were like steel traps. Pansy had seen this exchange and decided to try her luck.

"Draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaco!" She screeched scampering towards him.

"Woah!" Draco yelled, and sprang away, causing Pansy to crash into a grave. "Hey! That hurt!" She complained loudly.

"Not a chance in hell, Parkinson!" Draco said, "I've got myself a new girlfriend!" He slung an arm over Hermione, who promptly scooted away from him.

"Not yet you don't! I'm still getting over the fact you did it with _her _in _third year_!" Hermione said, crossing her arms.

"And if I have anything to say about it, you won't at all!" Lucius cut in, glaring at Hermione.

"I wouldn't, Lucius," Voldermort said sagely, "She may be a mudblood, but she's better than any pureblood I've ever met."

(AN: Yes, I know it's extremely OOC, deal with it!)

Lucius started stuttering incomprehensibly at Voldermort's statement, whilst Draco looked smugly at Hermione. She sighed, and glared back at him.

"Where were we? Ah yes, Ron, I want you to tell us, if you could be anybody in this circle, who would it be and why?"

"Sorry, what?" Ginny interjected, having finally been pried off of Harry.

"We're playing truth or dare, you are welcome to join in if you want." Hermione briefly explained.

Ginny shrugged and Pansy nodded her head vigorously, looking over at Draco in a calculating way.

"Well, answer then Ronald!" Hermione said.

"Dromlfy." Ron said, too quietly for anybody to hear.

"What was that, Ron?" Ginny asked her brother.

"DRACO MALFOY, okay?" Ron yelled, and instantly turned bright red.

"Seriously, Ron?" asked Hermione, over the peals of laughter, "Why?"

"Um, he got to kiss you, and he's really popular and rich and good-looking and-"

"Okay, Weaselbee," Draco interjected, "whilst I am flattered, you're beginning to sound gay."

Ron was fuming now. "I'll get you back for that Hermione, truth or dare?"

"Hold up, Hermione kissed Draco?" Ginny said, looking very surprised.

"Yep," said Draco, sounding very smug, "and to be honest I intend to do it again!"

Ginny gaped at Hermione, like she was Merlin reincarnated. "How did you of all people get Draco to want to kiss you again? Everybody knows that I am the best female kisser in the school and even I couldn't get the slytherin sex god to want more!"

"Slytherin sex god?" Narcissa asked, raising an eyebrow, "You really are Lucius' son, Draco!"

"It's not fair!" Pansy screeched, "I'm the one Draco loves!"

"You, Miss Parkinson, are like Bellatrix reincarnated. She was slobbering all over a Malfoy at school as well." Snape drawled from the sidelines.

"Can you all just shut it, please?" Hermione said, "This is not a conversation I wish to be having!"

Everybody muttered their agreements and Ron turned to Hermione.

"Truth or dare, Hermione?"

"Truth"

"Do you want to kiss Draco again?"

"Yes" Hermione said before she could stop herself. She scowled deeply at Ron, and purposefully ignored the grinning Draco. This did not put him off though.

"Wish granted!" he said before pulling Hermione into another kiss. This time when it was over Hermione grinned at him.

"You keep stepping in it, Ron!" Harry muttered. This shook Hermione out of her reverie, and she turned to Pansy.

"Time for a little back off signal!" she muttered under her breath. "Pansy, truth or dare?"

"Truth" Pansy replied in her shrill voice.

"How many people have you slept with?"

"Easy. Eighty three, including but not limited to Draco, Blaise, Theodore, Crabbe, Goyle and Millicent Bulstrode."

"That backfired," Hermione said, "Millicent Bulstrode? Really?"

"It was a threesome with Theodore. He has a thing for kink."

"Too much information!" wailed Ron.

"Can you incompetent fools please talk about something other than the sexual activity of fellow students, or are you incapable of that level of maturity?" Snape yelled at them.

"Only eighty three?" Ginny scoffed, effectively silencing Snape. "Please, you are such an amateur!"

"At least I've slept with the man I really want! How long have you been pining after Harry?"

"Guys, please," Ron groaned, "this is my sister and my best friend you are talking about. Ignoring that fact, Harry have you not slept with Ginny yet?"

Harry started blushing. "Um, no. I haven't really slept with anybody." He mumbled quietly under his breath. Draco started roaring with laughter.

"Really, Harry? Other than me, you're the most wanted guy in school. An advantage to being the chosen one, I guess. You practically have girls throwing themselves at you! Wait, are you gay?"

"Hey," Hermione poked him in the ribs with her elbow, "there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, and if you are it doesn't make you gay!"

"Well, I think we know that makes you a virgin, mudblood," Pansy sneered, "but personally, I think you're one of those annoying 'secret sluts', how many boys have you slept with?"

She had barely got these words out before Draco was on his feet. "I would consider your next words very carefully!" he said quietly, his voice laced with venom.

Hermione scowled and pulled him down. "Oi! I can deal with my own problems, thank you very much! Now Pansy, quite frankly I don't give a monkey's butt what you think about me, but you should know that I have my own opinion of you, and you wouldn't like it!"

Pansy glared at Hermione, but quickly averted her gaze when she felt Draco's stare burning a hole in his head. She huffed.

"Fine! Lucius, truth or dare?"

"Please address me as Mr Malfoy in future. Dare."

Pansy shrunk back under the cool scrutiny of his glare. She considered giving him an easy one, but her desire to get her own back on Hermione won out.

"I dare you to hug Hermione!" she concluded smugly.

"No way!" came two equally outraged shrieks. "I'm not hugging him!" Hermione scoffed. "I'm certainly not hugging her!" Lucius sneered.

"You have to!" Pansy whined in her nasally voice.

"You certainly aren't going to be the next Mrs Malfoy, that's for certain!" Lucius grumbled under his breath, whilst getting up. Hermione did the same and they awkwardly embraced for half a second, before jumping away from each other.

"This is really funny!" Luna whispered to Voldermort, who was still bright pink. He chuckled, and nodded.

Lucius scowled at her. "For that, truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Luna said in oblivious happiness.

"Sit on Potter's lap."

"Okay!" Luna skipped from beside Voldermort to Harry's lap. Harry was blushing up a storm when Luna merrily plonked herself down on his legs.

She grinned in a faraway manner and proclaimed happily "My turn! Um, Professor Snape, truth or dare?"

"Truth" Snape drawled.

"Do you have narleywickets?" she asked. Snape raised an eyebrow.

"I do not think so, Miss Lovegood."

"That's good!" she said dreamily.

"Moving back to sanity," Snape said, "My Lord, how about you?"

"Dare!" Voldermort declared loudly. "It can't be worse than last time!"

"I dare you to drink a random potion from Miss Granger's bag, no, don't interrupt Miss Granger, I know you will have a supply!"

Hermione frowned and pulled plentiful vials out of her back and threw them over to Voldermort.

"How do I know it won't be fatal?" Voldermort asked her.

"Don't worry, it's only funny ones there."

Voldermort chose a random vial and glared at it suspiciously, before drinking the whole thing. The effect was instant. He began grinning madly and jumping up and down.

"I feel so happy! Do you people know, you are the bestest, most amazingest people I have ever met I love you all!" He sang before running over and grabbing Hermione in a bear-like hug.

"You broke him!" screeched Bellatrix, "What was that?"

"Forever happiness," she managed to choke out, "sorry, I don't have the cure with me."

Voldermort chuckled with glee and released Hermione. "I don't want the cure! I want to be happy foreveeeeeeeeeeeeer!"

Hermione sighed. "Okay, it's your turn, sunshine butt."

"Weasely girl!" he sang, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." She simpered, twirling her hair and batting her eyes at Harry. Luna scowled gently, and leant back further into Harry's chest.

Voldermort clapped his hands gleefully. "I dare you to be as happy as meeeeeeeeee!"

Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Tom, I don't think that's possible. Do something else!"

Voldermort grimaced, "Fine, I guess I shall ask you to… bunk with Pansy. That will keep your pessimism away from me."

Ginny blanched at this, and glared at Pansy. Everybody expected Pansy to go off on a rant, but instead she just looked slightly smug. Ginny frowned at her, and Pansy gave her a knowing smile that screamed "I'll tell you later."

Ginny shook her head in confusion, but then remembered it was her turn, and decided to use this to her advantage, "Pansy, truth or dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to come over here and tell me something." With this Ginny got up and walked behind a gravestone. Pansy followed her, and soon they were concealed from the rest of the group. In the background they heard Ron complaining about his hunger, and Hermione offered to get them all lunch. Ginny turned to Pansy.

"What was that all about? Shouldn't you be disgusted about sharing with me?"

"Au contraire, my Gryffindor friend and partner in crime!"

"Partner in crime, what are you on about?"

"Well, you want Harry, right? And I want Draco! We should work together, it will be easier that way to get them to realise it's us they are in love with. We shall need time to plot the downfall of Loony and mudblood without arising suspicion."

Ginny contemplated this for a while. It made sense to her, and she nodded her head vigorously and grinned evilly. "Great idea! We should get back now. I can smell food!"

Sure enough, Hermione had produced buttered rolls filled with ham, cheese and lettuce. Whilst Lucius turned his nose up at the obviously muggle food, everyone else dug in. Until, of course, Narcissa told him to stop being such a prat and he meekly began to eat the food. Voldermort's skin had faded until only a pinkish tinge remained, but Hermione's hair was gradually growing in size.

After everyone had finished their rolls, Hermione pulled some chocolate biscuits out of her bag.

"I was saving them for a special occasion, but I guess we all are in need of cheering up." She said whilst handing the biscuits out. Lucius once again turned his nose up at such an 'informal' food, but Hermione was having none of it. She waved it about in front of his face whilst grinning.

"Come on now, Lucius, don't be such a big baby! It's chocolate, it tastes good and it won't do anything to your precious hair. What have you got to lose?"

Harry guffawed. "Only his dignity, Hermione. I cannot believe you just said that!"

Pansy scowled at her. "I can't believe it either! You are a disgrace to talk to such an esteemed wizard in this way. Even I must call him Mr Malfoy!" She turned and simpered at Lucius, obviously hoping to please her supposed 'father in law'.

Lucius turned red, and muttered something at the ground. Narcissa looked at everyone in the circle. "He says only people he respects may call him a 'big baby', and I think Miss Granger fits that bill."

Lucius gasped in horror at his wife. "For Merlin's sake, woman! I did not say that! And it isn't true either!"

Narcissa just grinned at him, and walked over to Harry who had managed to get crumbs all down his shirt. She tutted and clucked about him like a mother hen, pushing Luna out of the way to brush down the front of his shirt and straighten it.

"Honestly, Harry-kins, whenever I see you, you always seem to be wearing the same shirt! No, don't argue! I know you don't have a mother, but that is no excuse for poor sanitation!"

Harry glared at her, "For the record, I have been running around England looking for horcruxes to destroy, and I don't have time to launder my clothes! You can blame Voldy over there, but not me!"

Voldermort grinned at him, "You love me really, Harry-warry!"

Harry sighed. "Yes, alright! Enough with the weird nicknames please! I wish to leave here with a scrap of dignity intact, unlike Lucius over there!"

Lucius growled at him before returning to his chocolate biscuit, which he found he actually quite liked.

"My turn!" Pansy clapped her hands gleefully. "Draky-poo, truth or dare?"

"And you thought your nicknames were bad, Potter!" Draco muttered. "Truth."

"Tell us," Pansy made a large sweep of her arms, "Who you lost your virginity to!"

Hermione scowled at this, to Pansy's delight. Lucius shook his head. "I see we are back to the awkward teenage sexual tension stage!"

Draco tapped his chin in thought. "Well it wasn't you, Pansy! Umm, was it… no that was after the party, was it, um, I think it was Susan Bones!"

Ginny snorted. "Seriously, you, the almighty Slytherin sex god, lost his virginity to a hufflepuff?"

"Hey," Draco frowned at her, "would you like to tell us who had the pleasure of plucking your rose, Weaslette?"

"Can I reiterate," Ron interrupted, "THAT'S MY SISTER!"

"Oh shut it, Ronald!" Ginny snapped at her brother, "I'm not ashamed of it! Blaise Zabini!"

"Gross!" yelled Hermione. "Can we move on from sex, please! I literally just ate! Draco, your turn."

Draco looked around the circle. "Aunty, dear, truth or dare?"

**There you have it, folks! Please remember to leave a review and I shall shower you with sparkles. Sorry for the lack of Ron bashing, but next chapter I promise! Hopefully it will be up sooner as well…;)**


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